im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
