Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
