Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
