Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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