so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
