soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need water and some morals
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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