? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize