I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
