She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
false alarm, still single
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