I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
