i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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