I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize