So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
