The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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