Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
