so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
