My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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