Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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