I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
