I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
