Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
