true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
