end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
