you win again, gameday.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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