she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
