dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
