I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
