Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
