I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You've changed since you got that strap on
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
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