Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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