What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
