So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
