Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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