she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
whose ass print is on the piano?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
