He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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