he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
this hospital has no fireball
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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