Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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