let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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