Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
