god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
