the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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