It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
