Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize