and you said cock pushups were impossible
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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