yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize