I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
