I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
