I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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