There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
