official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize