Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
we're so committed to being not committed
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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