with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
