Apparently you make a good broom.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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