So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
