All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
