I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
