dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
