So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
