I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
