Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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