she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize