omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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