she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
