I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
