Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
