i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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