Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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