"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize