i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
