HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
