what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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