you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
