Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
