So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
