It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
