and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
is that a dick in a sweater?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
